Better than a pipedream: Make a life list

By Shelagh Braley

Sometimes I forget how challenging it is for people to see the value of a life list. I mean, after all, it’s just an inventory of impulses that may never come to life.

But I have been keeping my list for so long now, its worth to me is incalculable. My life list holds the course for all the ambitions I’ve ever had, and creates the momentum I need to make them into goals and then successes. Before I had a list, sure, there were experiences I hoped to have—but the process was static. It just made for cloudy pipedreams. “Maybe I’ll go to Tahiti someday. Wow, Tahiti’s far. It’s an expensive trip. Who will go with me? How will I make time for that? How will I pay for it?”

Each question, driven by a mild fear of the unknown, created an obstacle, a reason it would never happen.

But once I started my life list, it became a dynamic process where I committed in my mind to making good on my goals. I wanted to lose 15 pounds. Done. I wanted to learn to sail. Did that, too. What made the difference? I created and defined my desires. I got practical with them. I got excited about them. I found unlimited support and insight from others who shared my drive to accomplish these things. I became accountable to myself and to my circle of encouragers and advocates—because if they were putting in the mighty effort, why shouldn’t I? I didn’t want to let them down, either, in case they needed just one voice of reassurance to lift them up and inspire them to keep going.

I also learned how to celebrate the accomplishments I had—something many of us are reluctant to do, out of fear of being seen as arrogant, or perhaps just because we don’t see the value in what we’ve done with our lives. When you look at sharing your success as contributing to collective knowledge, when you see yourself as a mentor rather than as a braggart, it becomes easier to look objectively at what you’ve done and learned and see the value in sharing.

There are certainly circumstances (and people) that create obstacles for us and breed an environment of expected failure. It’s that defeatist perspective that seeps into our consciousness, makes the excuses for us, and becomes toxic to our ability to grow and do things that may seem out of our reach. There are those who haven’t ever traveled, or gone to school, or taken a risk at work or even among friends and family—so why should you? It’s up to each of us to decide whether our hope and strength can overpower that tide that pulls us under to mediocrity and tacit acceptance of our place in the world.

I haven’t been to Tahiti yet, but I have done a whole litany of other things that seemed equally out of reach at first. For me, it’s isn’t a matter of how anymore. It’s just a matter of when. Because I have adopted this process of continually setting goals and challenging myself, I know I’ll get there. It will make it to the top of my list soon.

And I’ll shout about it when it does, just in case anyone wants to come with me. I hear Tahiti’s gorgeous all year round.

Shelagh Braley is CEO of GoalsCorp Media, loves to travel and is especially fond of men in sarongs.

Sometimes you have to create your own wind...

Today is my 41st birthday. And I have been blessed by much this year. I'm engaged to a wonderful woman. I have a beautiful and fun eight year old to spend time with and I've positioned my company with a strategic partner who can help us grow MyLifeList.org to what it is meant to be, which is to make a difference in people's lives.

As many of you know, I am an avid sailor. The thrill of sailboat racing is something that challenges me given how unpredictable the wind can be. To win a yacht race requires an ability to adapt to what the wind gives you. The times we work hardest are on the extremes, when there is no wind or when the wind is blowing dogs off chains.

When there is too little wind, it takes massive concentration to keep the boat moving. Every little thing that happens on the boat matters as does an awareness of what shifts will occur that can help us avoid a hole. When the breeze is on, it's a struggle to keep the boat in control and ensure that the boat does not get overpowered and wipe out.

Throughout my life, I have done well by focusing on these two extremes. When there is not much going on, I focus on creating new opportunities and developing new relationships. When things are going well, I try to control the momentum to ensure that I do not get caught up and steer off course.

Much of life is on autopilot but it's the extremes that we build into our everyday lives that help us to accomplish our goals. If there are things that you have been wanting to do that you have been putting off, why not share them with others to see if you can create some momentum? If you are overwhelmed by things in your life, why not try to gain some control by seeking out people who can help you?

What ever way the wind blows for you in your life, do all you can to keep moving in the direction of your goals.

Celebrate life's little accomplishments, too

By Sarah "Alys" Lindholm, My Life List Member

Wow.

As I was writing my 750 words today, I randomly started thinking, "What new things have I done for the first time this year?" So I tried making a list. I'm sure it's incomplete, but it was pretty interesting.

-first ever professional foot massage (that I can really remember; first Chinese one anyway)
-first time ordering my own professionally printed business cards
-first time playing a video game that has tag mode
-first translation of a death certificate
-first whatever the hell that Paradise Lost thing is
-first automatic monthly charitable donations
-first donation to the Sea Turtle Conservancy
-first physical therapy for TMJ (the jury's still out)
-first contract with [name of client redacted]
-first paid yoga classes, which is also my first hot yoga experience
-first fitness membership with Persephone
-first time playing laser tag
-first disc QC @ FUNimation (partial)
-first director's invitation to the booth to listen to a dub of my show just for fun
-first time seeing my name in print as the translator of a novel
-first Groupon purchase
-first Barnes & Noble membership card
-first coconut steamer at Starbucks
-first time seeing any Glee
-first visit to Texas by my sister
-first time playing games at Lumosity
-first experimentation with self-acupressure
-first time eating at Rafain
-first time eating at Mooyah

I'm sure we all do new things all the time (or at least, I hope we do), but I often don't sit back and think "Hey, I am doing a new thing now!" I did with the foot massage, because that was a deliberate "reward myself with a new experience" type of thing. But a lot of these, like the business cards--I've tried making them myself before and it's a waste of time and money--and the new drink I tried at Starbucks? Totally not things I thought about. It's actually pretty cool to look at this and think in a deliberate way about how I really am a person who experiments and grows, even in little ways, and how most of us are growing all the time in little ways, and how we make our lives richer and more interesting.

Here are some more firsts I hope to have under my belt before the end of 2011:

-first stay in a bed & breakfast as an adult paying my own way
-first time attending a wedding in a state park
-first time memorizing the names of all the relatives at a family reunion before I go
-first facial
-first time riding Star Tours
-first pedicure
-first time eating the omakase meal at Ino's (a Japanese restaurant in Richardson, TX)
-first time staying at my brother and sister-in-law's house

I'll have to try noticing more of these more frequently. It's fun! And maybe recording new things will spur me to try even more new things!

Sarah is a Japanese-English translator, musician, compulsive reader and an active member of the My Life List community of achievers. Check out her public profile here to see if you share any major life experiences!

This list reveals a life well lived



Alice and her Lab, Mabel

 By Shelagh Braley, COO  

I don't know if you've heard about her yet, but 15-year-old Alice Pyne, who is dying of cancer, made a bucket list that's been read around the world. We hardly ever refer to bucket lists, much preferring to encourage people to make their LIFE lists and start earlier, before they're dying. But in this case, sadly, I think Alice knows what she's talking about. Bucket list it is.

The good news is that she understands how important it is to act now, to capture those dreams we have and focus on making them happen no matter what, because that's what makes life rich and wonderful at its end. "You only have one life," Alice writes. "Live it!

I heard about this British teen as her list went viral late last week, and it hit me so hard: This little girl has been fighting cancer since she was 11 and yet, she doesn't seem to feel bitter or cheated. She's trying to use her list to empower her family, helping her sister raise money for cancer research. She's designing a mug to sell for charity. She is encouraging everyone who can to become a bone marrow donor.

Beyond wanting to leave a legacy of stewardship and activism, Alice's biggest goals put in perspective something we all know but lose sight of when life gets complicated ... our relationships should be constantly cherished and nurtured. She's planning a photo shoot with her sister and other dear friends. She wants to throw them a movie party. The simple things that make memories. 

The most poignant goals are the ones she indicates just can't be done. She can't travel. She won't have a career she loves. If this doesn't help us realize how important NOW is, I don't know what will.

Here's a link to Alice's bucket list. http://www.alicepyne.blogspot.com/  Follow her journey, support her if you can. She is a special person with an important message, and I feel blessed to have heard about her.

And here's to a life well lived, no matter how short. Great work, Alice. We at Mylifelist.org are praying for a miracle for you. Thanks for the inspiration.

7 Ways to Get More Out of Your Workday



Rizzo taking notes while on a shoot

By Paula Rizzo, My Life List Member

Everyone has had one of those days – where you feel like you didn’t get anything accomplished at work. I’ve been there myself. You went to work, you talked to people, you wrote emails — but you didn’t really get anything finished.

Here’s a list of ways to rethink your workday so you’ll be more productive:

1. Make a list: You saw this one coming, didn’t you? I sound like a broken record because it works. Everyday before I leave work I make a list. Even if I’m dying to get out of there or I’m running late – I make time to make my list for the next day.

I look at my calendar and run through the following day in my head. I write out everything that I need to do – emails I need to write, phone calls I need to return, appointments I need to keep, shoots I need to go on, etc. I usually make two columns – one for work and one for personal stuff. Then the next day when I come in – I don’t even have to think about what needs to get done – I just follow my list and cross out tasks as I finish them.

2. Add to the list: Throughout the day I write down other things I need to do that I might forget. If I get sidetracked…I write down what I was in the middle of doing so I make sure to finish it later. It seems neurotic – but it’s incredibly effective. It’s so easy to forget what you’re in the middle of doing. How many times have you said, “Now, what was I doing?” You waste time and energy trying to remember and get back on task if you don’t leave yourself a note.

3. Leave yourself reminders: My Outlook calendar is ridiculously filled with appointments. Not because I’m so popular – but because I use it as a tool to remember what I need to do. When I leave work and I remember something I need to do but didn’t put on my list – I make a meeting maker for it. That way a reminder will pop up at some point the next day and I’ll get that task accomplished. You can also write notes or use Post-its but I tend to lose track of those. If it’s in my phone and it pops up – I can’t lose it. Oh, it’s also easy to ignore the pop-up alerts – so just add the tasks to your list when they first appear.

4. Use different folders: This is something I started doing early on. For each shoot I’m working on, I make a folder in Outlook. Then every time I get an email related to that project – I put it in the appropriate folder. It’s so easy to mix things up if you don’t have a place for each project. This is much easier than relying on searching through old emails, which wastes time and effort.

5. Bribe yourself: I’m serious – do it! Make deals with yourself. “If I finish this and this, then I can go on Twitter for 20 minutes,” or “When I finally cross this item off my to-do list, I’ll reward myself with a manicure.” That one works for me every time! If you have a goal or a deadline that you set, you are more likely to finish the job.

6. Unplug: If you have trouble getting work done because you are inundated with phone calls and emails — shut off your phone ringer and close your email. You don’t have to do it for the entire day – that would be crazy. But just for a little while until you catch up. Seeing that you have a new email will throw your focus off and you might get pulled onto another project. Same goes for the phone. Just give yourself a little alone time to finish what you need to do first. Believe me – it’s empowering!

7. Put on headphones: When I’m not out on a shoot, I work in a loud newsroom with a lot of people. I’ve mastered tuning out people, TVs and loud sounds. But it’s not that easy for some people – and sometimes I have trouble myself. My solution? Put on headphones – listen to music or whatever will drown out the sounds around me. It also sends a visual message to people around you that you’re “busy.” It takes a little practice to not actually listen to the words of the song and just hear it as background noise – but try it. It might help you get into the zone.

Paula Rizzo is Senior Health Producer for Fox News and founder of www.ListProducer.com.  She's an Emmy Award winner and attributes much of her success to her compulsive list making. She makes a list about just about anything and started www.ListProducer.com to help others become more organized, focused and efficient while being less stressed.

Don’t discount power of travel goals

By Shelagh Braley, COO

Are you an urban explorer or a country connoisseur?

I think I’m a little of both, based on my own life list dream trips: I want to immerse myself in the Italian countryside, speaking the language, riding a bicycle to the farmer’s market and cooking to my heart and stomach’s content. I want to enjoy sangria and a restful siesta in Spain, and linger under Tahiti’s Fautaua Waterfall. But I also want to feel the hustle and pulse of the discoteques of Rio and jazz cafes of Costa Rica.

Have you considered your travel goals lately? We all have them. True stat: 100 percent of mylifelist.org members have set at least one travel goal. Most of us have many more.

In order to make them a reality—to experience other cultures and find the place in the world you feel the most renewed—you have to PLAN, not just the details, the flights and accommodations, but the time, too. If you don’t get out of your groove and make time to explore other places a priority, you’ll miss the opportunity for new experiences, to find balance, family time, real joy. There is so much pressure around us, it’s easy to just absorb it and make that our way of life, without releasing the valve and seeking new stimuli, and the restorative peace and fun we need to truly be happy.

If you have a travel goal, do you have a time frame in mind for when you will achieve it? Think about setting a date and working toward it as you would any other measurable goal on your life list. The fun goals are no less crucial to your success than any others.

Don’t let your travel goals languish for “someday.” Or if you have traveled somewhere amazing, share your story on www.mylifelist.org!  You could inspire someone to explore an unrealized travel goal of their own. 

Shelagh Braley, COO of MyLifeList.org, is an experienced entrepreneur and former journalist. She lives in Swampscott, Massachusetts.

What should I ask Oprah?

By Paula Rizzo, My Life List Member

One week from today, I’ll be checking off one of the biggest items on my life list! I’ll be sitting in the audience of “The Oprah Winfrey Show.” This life goal has been a long time coming for me. Eighteen years to be exact. I’ve always had mentors throughout my journalism career but Oprah is one that I had from early on. 

I would watch her show with my mother every day without missing an episode. When I was 13 years old, I wrote her a letter and actually got a response! She (or rather someone from her staff – I know how this goes) sent me an autographed photo and a personalized letter. I was thrilled, as you can imagine, but my young self never had a clue that I’d have a shot at meeting her one-day.

Visualize Your Goals

I must admit that crossing this item off my list didn’t come without some help.  First off, I’m a list maker. I have a list of all the things I’d like to accomplish – going to the Oprah show is just one of them.  Writing a book, visiting Italy and owning a huge apartment in Manhattan are some others. I think it’s imperative to be able to visualize your goals, even if only on paper.  

I also have my vision board. I’m a huge believer in this. If you can imagine it, you can live it! (Did Oprah say that?) So yes, on my vision board with the photos of a bigger apartment, a fabulous wardrobe and a dream vacation is a picture of Oprah. I have this visual reminder on my closet door and look at it each morning when I get dressed. If nothing else, it makes me smile. 

I also subscribe to the principles in the book, “The Secret.” Quite simply, they get me a seat on a crowded New York City subway every day. If you’ve ever been to NYC, you know this is a small miracle. But I’ve also applied it to bigger things, like going to the Oprah show! I think believing that I was going to get the tickets and visualizing myself in the audience helped, too. My husband thinks this is all nonsense – but I’ve proven him wrong now, haven’t I?

A Little Help From My Friends

My friends also helped me to achieve this goal.  Because as I’ve learned: It’s not what you know, but who you know! My best friend, Danielle, and I have been trying to get tickets for the last season of the Oprah show all year long, to no avail.

We were turned down yet again, this time with a friendly little email telling us both that our names were not chosen in the lottery. But because one of Danielle’s friends from L.A., we are going to the show!  Jessica, who I’ve never met before, was nice enough to put us down as her guests when she was chosen for the ticket lottery! What are the chances of that?! How cool is she? Another principle of “The Secret” is not to worry about how your goals will be accomplished, just know that they will. And there it is! I would have never guessed this one. 

When Danielle told me we got the tickets, I was screaming like an audience member in an “Oprah’s Favorite Things” episode. I’m talking top of my lungs … with that crazy look in my eyes like I was being sent to Australia for free. I’ve spent many years as a line producer for live TV newscasts where breaking news ages you nightly and whatever might go wrong does go wrong. But to my credit, I’ve been told that I’m very calm under pressure in the control room. Not on this day. What were the chances?! There are only 325 spots per show and we were going to be in the audience for one of the final few tapings of Oprah’s very last season. Wow!

Preparing for Chicago

Now that the initial shock is wearing off and we've booked our flight and hotel, I have a week to prepare. I've been making lists of lists that I have to make. I'm a bit neurotic but very efficient.

I never take a trip without a packing list, so I’ve been working on that. I’ve found that if you write down every last thing that you’ll need, you won’t forget anything. I’ve also been writing down recommendations for restaurants in Chicago. This is a culinary city that I want to cash in on!  

My Next Life List Item

As an eternal optimist, I’m thrilled to be going to the show, but I’m banking on being able to meet and speak to Oprah. I’m just putting it out there into the universe – it doesn’t matter how it happens, just that it happens. So to be absolutely prepared for this life-changing moment, I need a list. 

What would I talk with Oprah Winfrey about? I’m making a list of potential questions I might ask her. I refuse to be caught like a deer in headlights if given this opportunity. In life, the more you can prepare for big moments the better. But I need some help with this one. What would you ask Oprah, if given the chance? I appreciate your input and am looking forward to hearing from you. 

Paula Rizzo is Senior Health Producer for Fox News and founder of www.ListProducer.com.  She's an Emmy Award winner and attributes much of her success to her compulsive list making. She makes a list about just about anything and started www.ListProducer.com to help others become more organized, focused and efficient while being less stressed.

How can we achieve SMARTER goals?

By Shelagh Braley, COO

Conventional wisdom says in order to reach your goals, they must be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely. This process has been proven successful time and again in business. But when you want to rev up your life across the board—not just at work—creating SMART goals can get a little boring, just like work.

So how can you infuse the SMART goal method with more motivation, to put to good use in all areas of your life?

Try adding these two tips to generate SMARTER goal power.

1. Explore areas beyond your knowledge.

Are there places you don’t know about? Experiences you’ve never heard of? If you stretch your imagination, your information-gathering skills and your concept of what is possible, you might find the world is even bigger and more exciting than you thought.

This was one discovery I made on the site, quite by mistake, and it’s always been my favorite. I instantly added it to my life list. The brilliantly colored, mystical photos alone are reason enough to go. http://www.mylifelist.org/experiences/experience.aspx?ID=2616

2. Reconnect with your past successes.

Are there moments you look back on that make you feel amazing and accomplished? What did you do to make them happen? It’s likely you had a point of inspiration, support and a solid plan. But did you take enough time to share your new-found knowledge to solidify your expertise or to help someone else achieve a similar goal?

According to positive psychology studies from Harvard Medical School, happiness generates far-reaching results (even for people we do not know, through social network effects) and this becomes a major influence on our emotional stability, achievement motivation and collective knowledge.

Here’s a link to my personal profile: http://www.mylifelist.org/members/PublicProfile.aspx?PID=1320

Maybe there’s something on My Life List that will inspire you today. If you find it, be sure to celebrate that inspiration, get yourself in action and pass it on. These two little extra steps will ensure that your goals match your dreams—and help you actually achieve them.

And the winner is ...

My Life List!

My Life List was recently awarded a $50,000 prize and given the honor of “Best Startup in Boston,” by Mayor Tom Menino and VenCorps, the world’s first crowd-sourcing venture capital firm. It was an unforgettable moment, an award the My Life List team is honored to have earned. (And we plan to quickly use it to help our community members reach their goals faster.)

To be successful in this business competition, we had to develop a strategy and work smart. Without a well-defined goal, major preparation, commitment and execution, that moment of victory and elation would not have been possible.

No different than any of your major life goals.

Just as companies define their growth strategy and identify benchmarks as stepping stones down the path to success, personally, you have to stay aware of your goals and incorporate the same process into your everyday life.

Your “big picture” should be represented in your life list. What is the overall vision for your future?

Once you have that list defined, you have to get tactical. This is where My Life List’s goal-achievement tool works, to help you create a roadmap, tangible mini-goals, each one designed to eradicate barriers and get you in motion.

Every celebration story on the site is full of the same joy and sense of accomplishment we felt last Thursday night. Pick a goal on your life list today and put yourself in action. Your life portfolio should be full of promise, and bursting with moments you’re proud of.

Your own victory is right in your hands.

Shelagh Braley, COO of MyLifeList.org, is an experienced entrepreneur and former journalist. She lives in Swampscott, Massachusetts.

Skydiving Courage Vs. Long-term Confidence

By Austin “The Freedom Skater” Szelkowski

Jump and Kiss!
I give a speech that I call “Is That Fear or Excitement?” The speech is short and explains that, in humans, the physical and chemical events associated with fear are almost precisely the same as those associated with excitement. I use the examples of skydiving and stealing a first kiss with a new flame to show how it is easy to feel both fear and excitement simultaneously. (Try this game – it works!) The whole point is to compel people to take the necessary risks to reach goals and live full and interesting lives.

I’m a serious fan of bold action. As a matter of fact, I think it might be the very difference between a mediocre life and a great life. Well, to be truthful, it’s part of it, but I suppose it’s not the whole difference. Recently, I rediscovered something a little more substantial ... more about that in a moment, but first, let’s talk about big journeys.

Embark to Grow
Anyone who knows me to any level knows that my life is currently consumed by a ludicrously large adventure: a 3,000-mile in-line skate across America. That skate is meant to inspire youth across the nation by serving up a larger-than-life example of the courage and commitment it takes to be a pioneer. I’m out to inspire the bold entrepreneurs and leaders of the next generation. Interestingly, the tour has already taught me as much as it has taught the people I speak to along the way. At the time of this writing, I’m just more than 1,300 miles in.

Leaping vs. Committing
Being bold is not enough. This 3,000-mile adventure is teaching me about something else: long-term confidence and commitment. If you want to build something of lasting value and purpose, you have to seek more than a temporary “high.” For me, the tour isn’t always an endorphin-rush. Often, it’s more painful than fun.

The Dilemma
So how do you remain excited and committed when progress feels more like hard work than an exciting exploit? Two points on that:

1. Your long-term goals must align with who you are as a person. They have to strike a deep chord that is not easily drowned out by the ups and downs of emotions. It’s gotta be you, because in the long run, anything less won’t keep you going. I like the simple advice offered by famous author and businessman Gary Vaynerchuk: “Be true to your DNA.” Obvious? Yes. Commonly adhered to? No. If it’s not you, then do you have the guts to quit it? Is that fear or excitement? Get it?

2. You’ve got to stay in your groove. Working toward a goal that deeply resonates with you is great, but you can easily do this the wrong way and burn out. Remember that old “Fear or Excitement” game I play? I like it because it gets me in my flow. It reminds of the daring, open, and energetic person I like to be. When I’m there, I’m unstoppable. And the same goes for you: You have to know how to get back in to your own personal flow.

That two-point combo seems simple, but don’t be fooled: Simple doesn’t always mean easy. Fight to keep those two points at the forefront of your mind, and you’ll be on your way, not only to achieving an incredible thing, but also to loving it every step of the way. That’s long-term confidence and excitement you can count on.

Austin “The Freedom Skater” Szelkowski is co-founder and president of Motor City Challenge, Inc. He gets involved with interesting projects. When he’s done skating, he’ll live in Detroit.

Reveal a deeper you to your social network

By Shelagh Braley, COO

I have been swimming in the shallow end of the social networking pool this week, promoting My Life List as one of nine finalists in a business competition here in Boston, to let our “friends” know that we need their votes to win. It’s really important—increased profile and credibility, and desperately needed venture capital funding.

I’m posting. Give me a “like” if you read me.

It’s becoming so clear: Social media users have broadcast fatigue. We’re getting too many messages to respond to them all, so we choose the funny, the random and the superficial, put in just enough effort to create the illusion of engagement.

And we tell ourselves we are connected.

When you update your status to share clever revelations, a video for your favorite new song or a happy birthday wish on Facebook, you no doubt get responses from your average network of 300 who want to stay involved in your life.

But sharing a goal that requires real support and action from others is a very different process. When you post a goal on Facebook, the people who respond are generally your closest friends and supporters, the ones who would respond with the same intensity offline. Those who don’t want to engage in your goal ignore it and focus on the more surface comments of those in their network. Goals are too much information, too real, for some “friends.” You are also only connecting with your limited network, and working within the boundaries of their homogenized perspective. We “friend” those we’ve already known, though we hardly ever grow that way, or cultivate a different cast. We isolate ourselves by never sharing our obstacles and challenges, even though we know everyone faces them.

What I learned from asking for votes reinforces what makes the My Life List community so special. By participating on My Life List, you become part of a greater network that cares and responds, and most importantly, mobilizes. This network supports you based on your level of engagement within the MLL community. The more you share, the better they know you, the more they want help.

You are exposed to an ever-growing cohort of people who share your goals and have accomplished your goals—people who understand what it will take to accomplish your goals and who have experience, resources and information that will help you.

What’s even more unique, MLL's members are motivated not only to accomplish their own lists but to strive for new horizons and exchange ideas with others to widen that circle of support, achievement and inspiration. This communication also builds new goal-oriented relationships that add value to your achievement process and your life.

And to prove my point, if you want to vote for My Life List in the VenCorps Best of Boston Challenge:

1. Go to vencorps.com and register (top right-hand side of page).

2. Go to Pick Winners tab and select My Life List LLC.

3. Rate us (All 5s is the best score possible) and add a comment.

We appreciate every voice that makes our network stand out, in the business community and in this greater social media experiment. Thank you for being part of it.

Shelagh Braley, COO of MyLifeList.org, is an experienced entrepreneur and former journalist. She lives in Swampscott, Massachusetts.

Only real failure is not to try

By Shelagh Braley, COO

You know what irks me?

How willing everyone is to believe the negative hype surrounding New Year’s resolutions, and goals in general. “Nearly 75 percent of New Year’s resolutions fail.”

Almost every reference in the media over the last 30 days has taken a tone of defeat. “The vast majority of New Year’s resolutions have died a sudden and uneventful death …” “Your resolution should be not to change …” “By now, all our New Year’s resolutions have gone down the toilet …”

Boo. Bad attitude.

No wonder we’re so reluctant to engage others in our goals. Every mention becomes a massive risk, as people couch their possibility and speak as though they’re already beaten. Who would attempt to set and share a goal, when it’s common knowledge that three-quarters of them are blown by the end of the month? Don’t we have any choice? Any strength of will? Courage to try, even in the face of obvious obstacles?

The My Life List community does.

Through the 21-Day Challenge, a crowd of nearly 100 MyLifeList.org members committed to a goal, reached out for support and achieved exactly what they set out to do. From paying down debt, to staying in better touch with important people in their lives, to establishing healthy habits, Challenge participants had incredible success! They credit their victories to the support of those who were following their progress throughout the challenge. Accountability, when coupled with unconditional encouragement, has a life-changing effect on our capabilities.

“The accountability factor actually propelled me past the comfort zone to do the simple small things … And what an incredible difference it made. 10.5 lbs in 21 days?!! I'm so amazed at that figure,” said 21-Day Challenge first-place winner Andrea. “It makes me realize that things you think aren't possible really are once you've made a decision and committed to a plan. The choices we make absolutely determine the life we lead.”

So ignore any messages that give a “why bother” impression. Recognize that kind of attitude is only a protection for those who are too afraid to try. Make your list of goals and engage the support you need, whether in your own circle or through the anonymous cheering squad of www.mylifelist.org. There is nothing sweeter than knowing you are in control of your own life, so create some momentum and shout about your success.

If we're doing our job, the 25 percent of goals that DON’T die a silent, end-of-January death will get the respect they deserve. And goal by goal, with focus and a sense of purpose, we'll change our lives.

Shelagh Braley, COO of MyLifeList.org, is an experienced entrepreneur and former journalist. She lives in Swampscott, Massachusetts.

How valuable is your time?

By Shelagh Braley, COO

I’ve been thinking lately about time. How much of it do we spend annoyed with our place in the world, worrying, spinning our wheels? How much of it will we want back when we check the rearview mirror?

It’s all over the news and blogosphere now, that the American Dream has officially stopped delivering. According to the Center for Economic and Policy Research’s newest study, America ranks lowest in paid annual leave, averaging 13 days a year to other wealthy nations’ paid time-off average of 20-35 days. And if that isn’t bad enough, Americans don’t even use it all. “Only 57% of American workers take their full vacation time, often fearing losing their jobs or not being able to keep up with their workload,” the study says.

That strong sense of duty and responsibility made America stand out and succeed in the global economy. Previous generations worked hard and kept striving through challenging times with the faith that their admirable work ethic would pay off. And until the most recent generation, it did.

Then work became harder, the hours longer, for less pay and less vacation time. American capitalism is no longer sharing the wealth. The International Labor Organization just last week released a study that said America is No.1 in productivity and hours worked, yet dangerously low in compensation and vacation time. As a result, American workers are trying to fend off an endless cycle of overload that has resulted in massive societal malaise: disconnection, consumption, obesity, depression, financial bankruptcy—and total dissatisfaction.

Time to re-imagine the dream.

It starts with rejecting a life on autopilot: working, studying, stressing, going to the mall and pretending it’s a fun day out, retreating to the escapist world of Farmville and the mundane reality of others’ lives to make ourselves feel better.

As you assess your level of personal fulfillment, take a breath. Daydream!

Read through some of the awesome stories of other members’ life experiences on MyLifeList.org, and most importantly, apply some of the ways they have improved their attitudes and their circumstances. Once you start planning, you’re back in the driver’s seat. That’s all it takes.

Focus on the practical steps to reach your major life goals, and you will recapture the control to live the life *you* dream about.

Progress on goals is a balancing act

By Laura Simpson, My Life List member

Balance. Mostly what comes to mind when I hear that word is how to maintain mine when I've had a few too many margaritas. I have come to realize, however, that balance plays a critical role when it comes to achieving my goals.

Take dieting and exercise, for example, the current bane of my existence ... eh hem, I mean goal. I want to get into shape because I want to look good. I want to be in such good shape that I'm mistaken for Angelina Jolie when I hike Machu Picchu with my kids in May. I want to look so fabulous in a single-digit-sized mini-dress that I turn George Clooney's head when I jet-set off to Tuscany with one of my oldest and dearest friends in October. I want to walk on the beach in Bali wearing a cutie-patootie bikini without people wanting to jab a hot poker in their eyes upon seeing me. But there are two things that stand in the way of my accomplishing these: my mouth (or should I say my inability to close it) and my abhorrence of anything that resembles work (think exercise).

Because I'm fond of the adage, “work smart, not hard,” I initially discarded the ideas of diet and exercise, as both fall under the “hard” category. There are two reasons I don't do diets. The first is that I seriously love food. I am not one of those girls who takes two bites of her salad and declares herself full. Instead, I roll up my sleeves and ask for a bib. Eating is truly one of my greatest pleasures. Secondly, diets are just too extreme for me. I lose weight on diets—not because I'm eating healthy food, but because I'm literally starving. And as I shed those unwanted pounds, I also lose some of my sanity in the process. I fear that if I go on another diet, I'll just end up trying to stab someone with a fork over the last bite of a stale bagel because I will have starved myself senseless up until that point. See what the absence of carbs can do to a person? So diets are out.

I ruled out exercising as well. Someone like me does not handle exercise well because exercise involves sweating and I wasn't made to sweat. Also, as most of my friends know, I am coordination-challenged. Combine that my super competitive nature (I have been known to try and trounce my fellow exercisers in a competition they didn't know they entered), humiliation inevitably follows. And I'd rather staple my tongue to a table than suffer the slightest humiliation. So, in my efforts to be creative, I briefly thought of investing in a 1970s vibrating belt massager. That way, my little fat globules can be vibrated away as I simultaneously take another guilt-free bite of my crème brulee. Once I had the unfortunate occasion to see one in action, though, I thought better of it.

So as it stands, I don't want to diet. I don't want to exercise, but I still want to lose weight and look good. What a dilemma. I know from previous experience that problems of this magnitude can only be conquered with the help of girlfriends and copious amounts of alcohol (wine preferred). During one such brainstorming session, one of my friends had an epiphany ... balance. She suggested that instead of subscribing to a costly diet program, which would inevitably end badly for me and those around me, I should modify my intake. Instead of having seven epically evil but decadently delicious mochas per week, I should drop it to three. That way, I could still indulge and get my fix, but not overdo it. She then I could apply the same thinking to exercise. Wow, she's on a roll! So, rather than subjecting myself to the mind-numbing monotony of the gym every day, maybe I could go to the gym three times a week and take a brisk walk in the park with my sugar-love-muffin-of-the-moment the other four days. At this point, my mind is reeling. Brilliant.

So, there it is. So simple. Actually, it’s not simple, but it's not that hard, either. Yes, I had to change some habits. For instance, when I'm having a stressful day, my Pavlovian response is to drive to Starbucks and have them hook me up to a mocha IV. Now, instead of consuming enough calories in one sip to sustain an Ethiopian village, I eat a banana. Admittedly, a banana doesn't evoke warm and fuzzy feelings quite like the nectar of the gods does, but there is some satisfaction in knowing that it is healthier, and that I'm not limited to a diet of ex-lax and water ... I can still indulge a bit. The same is true of exercise. I learned that not all exercise is evil. And believe it or not, I actually enjoy walking (gasp!). I've even gotten to know my neighbors a few doors down. I didn't even realize that I had neighbors that far down the road. For all I knew, they were empty houses with abandoned cars.

Do I have my occasional setbacks? Of course I do, but I also have had a wee bit of success. And that tangible success is enough to keep me motivated to continue to find the balance.

Laura Simpson, a My Life List folk hero in the making, is a simple girl living a complicated life. Born and raised in New Jersey, she now resides in Idaho until she can find a way to become independently wealthy and travel the world.

Goals and the pursuit of happiness

By Sally Barrett-Page, M.A., M.S.W.

“I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” - Mark Twain

It is common for achievers to say they want more money, a great job and a perfect partner. Underlying all of these wants is really a desire to be happy. You have to train your brain for happiness. Check out these pointers:

Take responsibility for your happiness. It's a personal journey, and one that you should be driving. Determine what makes you happy, create a plan for your life and start living your dream. Pursue the things you are passionate about. Your past achievements hold the clues to your passions.

Focus on the positive. Happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, it comes from appreciating what we already have. Be grateful.

Accept yourself as you are. You are a special and unique human being with a special place and purpose in the world.

Focus on the present. You have only now to live it and enjoy it. Let go of the past by forgiving yourself and everyone else for mistakes made.

Nurture your relationships and participate in your community. People who take the time to do these things are happier.

Use social networking with purpose. Use the tools and engage the community on http://www.mylifelist.org/ to create a life list, act on your goals and celebrate your accomplishments. It will help you stay focused on your goals and make more progress.

Hire a personal life coach. Many achievers in varied fields credit the influence of a special teacher, mentor or coach for much of their success.

Sally Barrett-Page grew up in Massachusetts and has lived in Boulder, Colo., for 27 years. Her first exciting career was as a filmmaker, her second as a life coach.

Become the Person You Want to Be

Please check out (and share) this link to a story on My Life List in Canada's Globe & Mail. Thank you to the members who were quoted!

Become the Person You Want to Be -- Canada's Globe and Mail

My Life List® Best of 2010

The holidays are happily under way, and here at My Life List, we are preparing for our busiest and most important time of year – New Year’s Resolution time. We’ve got more momentum than ever and we think we have a lot worth celebrating.

Which got us thinking: You’ve probably accomplished a lot this year, too, haven’t you? An exotic adventure with your best friend? A hard-earned degree? A job you love? A change in behavior that has made your life easier, healthier or more exciting?

Why don’t you share it on mylifelist.org right now? In the spirit of sharing this season, we’re going to name the best story for each category on the site (Travel & Leisure, Relationships, Personal Development & Community, Career & Finance, Lifestyle & Culture, and Sports & Adventure) as My Life List® Best of 2010. They will be featured as part of some exciting upgrades on the site in January, and the writer will receive one of six $100 American Express gift cards.

The deadline for stories is December 28, with winners announced December 31. So get celebrating! Your accomplishment will inspire many, and acknowledging your progress will push you forward, too.

And don’t forget these exciting upcoming events:

The 21-Day Challenge Win cash and prizes to help you achieve your goals, Jan. 10-31
The Life Listers’ Ball Black-tie party at Seaport Hotel Boston Feb. 5

Why are you not accomplishing your goals?

So why are you not accomplishing your goals? Surely you realize that if you’ve set a major life goal, achieving it will help to improve or enrich your life. So what’s holding you back?

I’m going to assume it may be because you lack one or all three of the following:
1. Available time;
2. Clear priorities; or
3. Accountability.

If you identify with any of the above, what you’re really lacking are the skills to get organized. The good news is that getting organized is a skill you can learn any time.

This week on My Life List™ Radio, I had the opportunity to interview Shelagh Braley, an organizing expert and owner of Linear Thoughts (www.linearthoughts.com), a Boston-based organizing consulting company.

Here are some of her practical tips for getting organized and making the most of your time. (Source: www.linearthoughts.com)

• Make a list every day.
• Keep a longer-term calendar and mark down upcoming project deadlines.
• Clear your space and your head will feel clear, too.
• Schedule your break times and take them without fail.
• Assign your time a monetary value.
• Take care of yourself with by taking breaks and rewarding yourself for small achievements.

So if you want to start achieving your major life goals, why not take the first step and add getting organized to the top of your list?

“Organize your life around your dreams – and watch them come true.”

If you are not a member yet, it's free and easy to join by visiting www.mylifelist.org.

About Bill Starr
Bill Starr is an avid 'life lister' and a founding partner and CEO of My Life List™ (www.mylifelist.org), an award winning goal achievement website that uses a proven methodology and the power of social networking to help people achieve their goals and inspire others.

About My Life List™ Radio
My Life List™ Radio, is a half hour talk show featuring personal insights on goal achievement and interviews with inspiring guests.

Are you up for an Adventure?

Earlier this week, I came across an interesting article in the Globe and Mail. “Goodbye husband and career, hello high seas.” The article tells the story of Roz Savage who ditched her career, her husband and her house to row solo across the Atlantic.

“I was stuck in this job, feeling like I was just on a treadmill of having to earn enough money so that I could afford to buy the house that was near enough to my job. It was just like this crazy cycle … And I’d think, you know, we don’t have to do this. … I felt like I wasn’t being true to myself.”

Now, I’m not suggesting people ditch their careers, family and take to the high seas. What struck me about this article was the sudden realization that she was not following the path she saw for her life.

Many of us have things that we have a desire to accomplish. This may not be to row across the Atlantic but you must have a goal that speaks to the spirit of who you are.

So are you up for an adventure?

“A man practices the art of adventure when he breaks the chain of routine and renews his life through reading new books, traveling to new places, making new friends, taking up new hobbies” – Wilfred Peterson

If you are not a member yet, it's free and easy to join by visiting www.mylifelist.org or if you have already created a Life List pick one goal and add it to the top of your list so others can help you achieve your goal!

Why not check out My Life List™ Radio, a half hour talk show featuring personal insights on goal achievement and interviews with inspiring guests.

About Bill Starr
Bill Starr is an avid 'life lister' and a founding partner and CEO of My Life List™ (www.mylifelist.org), an award winning goal achievement website that uses a proven methodology and the power of social networking to help people achieve their goals and inspire others.

Have you made any new friends lately?

Yesterday I got a note from a friend telling me how excited her 6-year-old daughter was after meeting a new friend at school. "I made a new friend today! Her name is Annie and she likes to jump rope just like me!"

Meeting new people is exciting yet as we get older we tend to become more distant to connecting with new friends. When was the last time you were excited to meet a new person?

Imagine if you came home from work as excited as my friends 6-year-old. “I made a new friend today! His name is ____ and he likes to ___________ just like me!”

Go ahead fill in the blanks, a big part of getting the most out of life is meeting new and exciting people who share your interests.

So have you made any new friends lately?

“Having a new experience will introduce us to new friends and through these new friends we will be introduced to other new experiences.”

If you are not a member yet, it's free and easy to join by visiting www.mylifelist.org. CREATE your life list, ACT on your goals and CELEBRATE a story of a significant experience to inspire others!

About Bill Starr
Bill Starr is an avid 'life lister' and a founding partner and CEO of My Life List™ (www.mylifelist.org), an award winning goal achievement website that uses a proven methodology and the power of social networking to help people achieve their goals and inspire others.